i Decide

11am I’m running out the doors of Starbucks.

I just worked a five hour shift. I didn’t invited anyone to church. I didn’t talk about Love. I didn’t have one meaningful conversation. …Well. It was busy today. We all had to focus on work.

11:20 I’m waiting at the bus stop.

Should I talk to this lady next to me? I should talk to this lady next to me. Brain pause. She looks Hispanic. She probably doesn’t know English.

11:40 I’m holding my breath against the noxious breeze that always precedes the metro.

There’s all these empty seats and this man sat right next to me. Maybe he’s lonely. I should, somehow, tell Him God has plans for him. But, he’s a man. I’ve had trouble with being polite to men in LA. They always get the wrong impression. I don’t need anymore lonely middle aged men trying to talk to me about the Twilight series…

12:30 I’m transitioning to the Pasadena metro.

A whole new train. A whole new group of people. A whole new batch of empty eyes avoiding my gaze. And here I am with full eyes…avoiding theirs.

1:30 I’m sliding through the yellow doors and escaping those hollow stares.

Scum. Scum of the earth. You are incredible. All those opportunities. Hours and hours. People everywhere. And nothing. Nothing! You are the most epic pile of failure I think I’ve ever met.

What about that girl?

What girl?

The girl you always see sitting outside the volunteer office.

I dunno God. Have you been too busy reading your newspaper to take a glance at my track record today? My checklist of love has a big red FAIL stamped on it.

You’ve got this one.


You’ve got this one.

Ok. Ok. I won’t let this one pass. I wont let this girl go without knowing Your love. I wont. Done. Seven times a righteous man falls….seven times he rises. Ok it seems more like seven times I fall, one time I rise…but darnit if I rise once that’s all it takes to love one person!


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